live with my husband, but my heart belongs to someone else and that truth is slowly tearing me apart. Every day I wake up beside a man who holds my name, my ring, my routine, yet my heart beats for someone who isn’t here. I exist in a marriage while my soul is somewhere else.
I touch one man with empty hands while craving another with my whole being. I smile, I pretend, I survive but inside, I am screaming. Loving someone in silence is a punishment I never asked for, a fire I carry alone, burning me from the inside out.
The guilt is unbearable. Guilt for staying. Guilt for lying with my silence. Guilt for betraying vows even if only in my heart. I feel trapped between loyalty and longing, between duty and desire. No matter what I choose, someone will be hurt ,including me.
This love I carry is not innocent. It keeps me awake at night, makes my chest ache, makes me question who I’ve become. I am living a life that looks right but feels wrong. I am faithful in body, but my heart is already gone.
My heart is in two different places, and it is breaking in both. One day, something will have to give because I cannot keep dying quietly in a life that no longer feels like mine.
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